It’s been a long time since I just got on here and just wrote. It’s interesting to think how much has change in a year, but in the end really nothing has. I’m still dealing with incredible amounts of immaturity. For example I’ll reference the Halloween party I went to. A girl I had never met before literally forced herself on me and I had to push her off. It’s sad, that this is all people ever want to do. I enjoy talking and getting to know the person first. That never works anymore. I’m tired of people telling me they are different, and then alcohol or a “hot” guy comes up and then they turn into pagan rubber necks.

I would give anything for a girl who would just talk to me as opposed to just assuming I’m like every other guy and just want to bang their brains out. Sadly, according to the last girl I took out, I talk too much.

One year ago, I proved that I would do anything including flying across the country to prove that I care and that I want more than just a physical relationship. Yet during the past year I just find myself surrounded by the same crap.

lies
hypocrisy
deceit
and
girls who just want to get drunk and fuck some random guy

I mean I’m getting angry over the fact I’m holding my own wants and needs back over the fact that I have morals and high standards when it comes to the girls in my life.
I get depressed because the media and society depicts someone like me getting the perfect girl and being content with their life, but in the end real life shows I’m the guy paying for the cab rides home, getting stuck with the bill, both financially and emotionally. I have consoled so many girls about other guys. Watched plenty of my guy friends show no respect in any of their relationships.

It’s hard for me to watch this, because I have been accused of doing the same things yet in actuality I never did anything.

Over the past weekend I encounter Matt Albright a kid from my old high school. (one of the dipshits who started spreading rumors about me)

It’s sad that this guy is the one acting like a man whore, when he had the nerve to say that I was, when he is getting plastered and getting it on the dance floor, while I just sat with my friends not getting drunk and just talking. (yea I’m a total player cheating asshole)

I don’t know what to say anymore. I mean I’m so glad I had some of the experiences I’ve had yet I just want someone to claim they are there for me.

I mean I have a broken family.

A broken-hearted mom

A dad who is so very hard to please

A brother who tries to communicate and disappears when you need help.

Is it so much to ask for someone in my life that would say, Craig I love you and want you to be here with me.
someone who will just stay up all night talking to me. someone I can share my love with and make new memories with.

I can do without the sex, hell its been so long for me anyways, really I just want someone to make me wake up smiling every day.

but yes, that is too much to ask for.

“Having someone wonder where you are when you don’t come home at night is a very old human need.” ~Margaret Mead

That the song shook me all night long is about a guy exploding in his pants right after seeing a girl

That the song shook me all night long is about a guy exploding in his pants right after seeing a girl

Your weiner, oh yea I tottally killed hitler

took the student shuttle offered by my apartment complex to school today. all the seats were taken and this girl and I were the last to board the shuttle. We go to the back and sit down where there is an open space where the handicap lift is.

We both have exams today and we talked about how screwed we both would be if we didn’t get to school on time.

guess who was asked to get off the shuttle…..yep thats right your’s truly.

thank god i have my own truck

This is almost getting comical, Andy and I were discussing today why I am cursed when it comes to girls. Example this weekend, girl who shows interest in me, once again has a bf. score 10 for me…..

Are there any sane, normal girls out there, who are drama free and just want to be with someone who is stable and will treat them right.

my conclusion.

Probably not